August 15, 2006

Doolittle's favourite Pushme-Pullyou

There's an old navy trick (so I'm told) whereby a sailor would carefully manicure one hand, paint the nails, and lie on the arm until lack of circulation rendered it numb. The desensitised and feminised hand would then be employed in such a way that the imaginative fellow could fool himself that he was being shandied by a woman.
Heaven knows what lurid fantasies would go through such a mind. Maybe sailor boy imagined himself as a Homeric voyager, tied to a mast while naked sea nymphs sang their siren songs from their deadly rocks. Or maybe he imagined himself frolicking with several lithe mermaids in some glowing underwater cavern.
It always puzzled me, that one about the mermaids. I mean... how do you shag a demi-fish? Do you only look at the top, womanish half and avoid the too-fishy lower bit? A more practical alternative would see the competing piscine-human biologies swapped around so that the deluded sailor would at least have a suitable cove in which to drop his anchor, so to speak.
Which brings me to this peculiar piece of work for a dating website.
Maybe Singaporeans like to take things literally. However, one could assume that there's something Siamese-twinsy going on here. Where are this strange creature's toilet bits? How does she/they get around?
Faced with such a creature, I would not know where to start. Maybe I'd have to ask a sailor.

Agency: TBWA\Singapore

Tags: Press / outdoor ads; Sex


Anonymous said...

You have to make the move after mermaid-to-human transformation is complete, like Daryl Hannah in Splash. Then you’re good to go. Otherwise, if you get caught during the changeover, ouch.

I still have scars from scales.

SchizoFishNChimps said...

dammit yes, I forgot that these critters transform