Strong stomach

For all those who have survived eating the shit they call food at Pizza Hut.

What I'm not reading this weekend

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Pow indeed

Saw this one in Metro and it made me laugh. Good work from AMV - simple and fun. Twinings is also my favourite brand of real tea - the only non-perfumed (e.g. Earl Grey) one that IMHO can be drunk black without that sickly tannin aftertaste.

Another blog post with the word "arse" in it

...but this time, with good reason: to stop the locals from shitting in the river. Explanation from NewScientist

Oh-no-nanism

It's good to see that my Wank For Jesus campaign is finally taking off in Botswana.

See also: P4CM's reaction to my Wank For Jesus campaign

Spotted on Pharyngula

Gardening leave

Thoughtful chaps ought to be pleased that the perennial problem of picking pubic hairs out of their teeth is on the wane now that it’s socially acceptable for women to have their front gardens openly referred to in, of all places, TV advertising.

Wilkinson Sword Quattro for Women by JWT

Car needs cleaning

Click pic for visual engorgement

Found on the richness that is the b3ta links board.

Just in case there were any doubts about my last post

Please don't sit on my white leather sofa

Fancy a marshmallow game, anyone?

Want to sea some tits? (130,000 of them)

I’m still trying to figure how a serious RSS feed I’ve set up to include only stories about monkeys in advertising has managed to churn out this story from Australia: More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea. It’s something to do with free gifts for Ralph, an Aussie men’s magazine. If you see any news stories about rises in ocean oestrogen levels caused by untreated sewage, then be sceptical when you see dolphins wearing comedy tits.

An ad at the pinnacle of WTF?ness

The end of advertising will look like this.

It's my carpet and I'll cry if I want to

So we broke in through my own bedroom window and decided to strip on the way out of the room. Don’t ask about the logic, or my fucking huge Y-fronts, but wonder instead about the strange spell that my new carpet exerted on Mistress #14.
Just what is it about women and home furnishings? There must be something in the Shake ‘n Vac that turns their brains to custard. I mean, thirty quid a square foot and the daft cow dumps her bird-murdering beast on my brand new carpet.
Be a love and give it a good scrub and hoover. I'm off to the footie.



More proof that women and animals shouldn’t be allowed indoors:

Worship your furry overlords
Harveys' big offer
My furniture takes another caning
Those worms didn't come out of my arse, madam
Down boy
Get off my bleedin' chair
Are you sitting comfortably?

Hair of the dog

Hopefully the last we'll ever hear from that wretched beast.

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Wee love babies

The insanely weeing baby in the latest Huggies TV ad has been causing much amusement in the Chimp household. When the two blue chimplets were tiny, this version of the problem had them weeing into their own faces, so the joke was on them.
How sad meanwhile that this unfortunate TV dad did not invest in this incredible invention. How humans have managed for the last coupla hundred thousand years, I'll never know.
And here's that Huggies ad.

Mildly wet day

Why British TV news coverage of Hurricane Gustav was so much better than US TV.

Spotted on

Do you get cheese with it?

A recipe that'll get you thrown out of science class.


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Bad Taste News

Anyone who has read the excellent expose of how the British media operates in Nick Davies' Flat Earth News will not be surprised at how those lazy sods at Sky News tried to fill space on their website by asking viewers to send in their photos following the recent storms that hit the UK. The BBC are guilty of this too.
Let rip the scamps with bad taste and Photoshop. Private Eye explains:

Another week, another victory for citizen journalism at Sky News… As storms battered Britain at the beginning of last week, presenters on the rolling news channel begged viewers to “help us put together the fullest national picture possible” by sending in their photos of the damage.
Hundreds took up the invitation – including posters on the Football 365 web forum, who, finding out that such pisspoor efforts as a shot of a watering can (“the wind blew it round all night”) were being featured on the Sky website at yourphotos.sky.com, rose to the challenge and began to send in increasingly outlandish scenes created using photoshop and snaps lifted mostly from the rival BBC website.
By 11.30am on Tuesday, despite a solemn promise that “your photo will be checked by moderators before it can be displayed”, the 408 photographs in Sky’s “Wild Weather” gallery included a shot of a young Norman Wisdom dismayed by a car crushed by a tree; footballer Carlos Valderama in flooded New Orleans captioned “it’s windy here in Widnes”; a still from environmental disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow captioned “Whitley Bay”; a suspicious number of scenes of destruction featuring either teddy bears or the athlete and television presenter Kris Akabusi; and several shots of fallen trees and flooded streets in which missing toddler Madeleine McCann was clearly visible in the background.
Sadly the fun was terminated after a mere 24 hours when moderators caught on and deleted all the images.

Examples:
"I can't find me mate James Brown cos it's a bit windy here in Widnes"
(Carlos Valderama in New Orleans)

"My mum's car this morning"
(Missing child)


Norman Wisdom!



Kriss Akabusi surveys the damage



Pics shamelessly filched from contributions and various bulletin boards

Another plug for St Val

Oh well, seeing as every other ad blog seems to be showing that Ann Summers viral, I'm forced to delve for something a little more obscure, but still St Val-themed. This one, I am pleased to say, is utterly revolting.

Buy some of what you need here.

Frank knows

It’s said that a liberal is someone who hasn’t been burgled yet. Fortunately, I’ve never been there (apart from having entertained the occasional thieving builder), but I have still turned into a raging intolerant fascist. I’ve noticed a similar thing happening amongst my peers when they went through the same life-changing event: the birth of their first child.
Suddenly, The Country Has Gone To The Dogs.
The solution: Install More Speed Cameras, All Paedophiles Must Be Castrated, and All Drug Dealers Will Hang.
Our junkie Golf GTi-driving priest went right to the top of my shit list.
The long-running “Frank” drug-awareness campaign has long baffled me, but I (kind of) get it. Having listened to a drugs counsellor talk about drugs and teenagers, I realise that these ads are a well considered attempt at talking teen.
The greatest danger (I was informed) is not curiosity, but peer pressure. One of the most effective counters is the threat to self esteem. This Frank PSI, currently airing on British telly, demonstrates how drugs can make you look stupid, rather than just preaching the obvious message that they can kill.

Axe aims for girls with the munchies

The old cliché that girls like chocolate is the idea behind this creation for Axe (aka Lynx). The adolescent approach of this brand’s advertising is more often hit than miss. It has to keep its pecker up to maintain interest in its never-ending range of spin-off smells.

I suppose that it’s agreeable that young teenage boys smell of chocolate rather than, well, teenage boys, but in my part of Essex the best way to woo a girl is with a nicely presented bag of hot chunky chips.

This time, me no likey.

Agency: VegaOlmosPonce, Argentina

AxyLynxy:
Japanese Axe virals - innocent fun or sinister?
More BomChickaWahwah
More Lynx naughtiness
BomChickaWahwah
Fanny magnetism and an excuse to mention pussies