God's coppyrytar took a day off

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You are hope, you are imagination

Yeah, and I know I'm a genius too, so why do I need these space cadets to tell me I'm special? It's a tweely sinister ad from that business masquerading as a religion, but with severe mafia tendencies: Scientology.

Imaginary friend

Amusing reason for returned subscription mag.

The power of prayer

This is a bit naughty but by God it’s funny. The prolific scientific blog (which isn’t really about science at all – it’s a platform for an angry biologist professor to rail against religion and pseudo science), Pharyngula, regularly calls upon its readers to crash web polls. Here’s an anti-gay prayer group website asking its readers whether they’re going to participate in a national day of prayer.

Before

After

For Christ’s sake

Oh no, here’s another case of oversensitive religious nuts squitting about some harmless advertising. You’d think.
Actually, rather bizarrely, I’m siding with the religious space cadets on this one (but only just).
The fuss is rather amusing: A complaint was made to the ASA about the above ad for Antonio Federici Gelato Italiano ice cream on the grounds that it was demeaning to people who have chosen a religious vocation. I don’t see why this grants anyone special dispensation from mockery when the advertising comedy dustbin is crammed with occupational stereotypes. Why does belief in a desert sky fairy make someone more prone to offence?
Naughty nuns and priests are part of the cultural landscape because, let’s face it, real nuns and real priests are as prone to real-life guilty arse-fuckery as are Welsh sheep farmers. It’s the church that calls its followers a flock, after all, which is possibly the most sinisterly subliminal message in choirboy history.

The Committee of Advertising Practice rules on religious offence state "…linking sex or sexualised images with religion may cause particular offence; for example, despite the tolerance towards the depiction of men and women of the church, portraying nuns in a sexual manner is inappropriate".

I love this quote from Antonio Federici's creative director which earns a mental head-slap:

"Neither the nun or priest are touching or kissing and we don't accept that this beautiful piece of photography could cause offence to anyone except possibly to a tiny minority who might have an acute sensitivity to such matters."

The quote is swiftly busted when you go to the brand’s website. Look at their gallery and find this piece of creative work which I suppose is still waiting to be published in a jizz mag. It’s hardly breaking any taboos as a quick glance at my, er, best friend’s cousin’s neighbour’s private DVD collection will tell you.
What would really be dangerously provocative would be the hint that the jolly priest is wearing a condom.
God forbid.

Send this fucker a bacon sandwich

A woman's work is never done, I was told, which is why they're paid half as much. I've had to let half of my scantily clad monkeygirls go because of the recession (it was either the staff or the champagne lunches - don't anyone tell you that my sense of priority is wrong). The downside is that now I've got to do more frickin' work, which is why my steady stream of pointless blogging bullshit has been drying up.
I need to excrete some piss 'n vinegar on the subject of this wretched flu thing that's getting the Daily Mail all excited. I wish someone would invent a flu that targeted those nazi bastards, but we've got to make do with some rather loose animal-themed branding. Which is why I want to direct a loud FUCK OFF to some twat in Israel who objects to the naming of Swine Flu. I knew someone was going to complain. By his book, offending a religion is unacceptable if the alternative is some casual racism. And never mind the poor fuckers who are dying from the illness. Fucking idiot.

Merry Chocmas

My friend is invisibler than your friend na na na na na

My pet fairies are amused by the unashamed presence of two stories in Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph.
Story 1: Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor: 'Many believe Christianity is out of step with society'
Story 2: One in five young children have imaginary friends
Perhaps some adults have no need of imaginary friends.

Just in case there were any doubts about my last post

P4CM's reaction to my Wank For Jesus campaign

The website p4cm, or Passion For Christ Movement, unintentionally sexualises some suspiciously young-looking God botherers with its range of delusional t-shirts. In so doing, it unleashes a new fundamentalist Christian paradox: If you say you’re an ex-wanker, then you’re a wanker.

Facebook sells me God Sex. Yes, me, the Sex God

Thanks Facebook, for that little message, but keep your imaginary sky fairies off my homepage. I think that God's got enough on his plate fucking with the Middle East without Him needing to get involved in my bedroom, ta very much. If I need help in that department then I'll just spend a little more time perusing the dairy section of my local Asda. Cheers.

"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather..."

"Not screaming in terror like his passengers."



Joke nicked from Bob Monkhouse.

Cartoon nicked from Private Eye, and the best reaction to the Atheist Bus Campaign I've seen.

Bart fires one off for Scientology

Spam phone calls are still a problem on landlines, which is a pity cos I hate using my mobile. Several years down the line I still haven't mastered the bloody thing. I'm getting some alarming cold calls from someone on my mobile, without fail, same time every bloody day, and then every ten minutes till I turn the damn thing off. Who is this bastard called Snooze who keeps pestering me, and who does he work for?
Another bunch of annoying fuckers are outed in this post. It reveals how the person behind the voice of Bart Simpson is using the cartoon to plug Scientology over the phone. Link inludes audio evidence. As my German friend would say: "Ein bunch of arse!"

See also:
More woo infiltrates UK advertising
Kudos to the little guy

Your famed intelligence is nothing more than the Fart Of God

Professor Richard Dawkins is a prominent supporter and promoter of the atheist bus campaign currently running in London. I was reminded of this hysterical clip snipped from a short TV series broadcast on UK telly last year. In it, the good Prof. reads some of his hate mail.

Kudos to the little guy

Cheap product demo TV ads are easy targets. Often naff, shouty and tediously long, they’re something to be avoided. This is a typical example from the US, but there’s a rather interesting back story unearthed by Skepchick. It seems that Headset Vince is a recovering ex-Scientologist who is using funds raised by this product, and by an apparently awful movie he once made, to take on the cult for ruining his life.

See also: More woo infiltrates UK advertising

USA: Can we have a slice of him too, please?

...after all, we knew his grandpa quite well. I'm hoping that the optimism of the 44th presidency is not followed by the same disappointment that Britain felt during the latter years of the Blair government.

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Time for some smiting

It’s good to see that the atheist London bus campaign is seriously winding up the god botherers. Personally, I’m rather pissed off that nobody’s seen fit to promote the existence of simian godlike beings (cos let’s face it, I’m greater than God because I have the advantage of actually existing), in light of the fact that I’ve had the various aspects of the homophobic desert sky ghost thrust in my face since I was born on that volcano prior to a great eagle dropping the sword of destiny at my feet.
The fun bit happens now as the ASA decides whether to investigate the inevitable complaints or not. I’m looking forward to seeing how the ASA treats the claim that "There's probably no god" can be argued to be factually inaccurate or misleading.

Brand Republic is running a poll on the campaign (you may need to register to participate).

Pic nicked from Scamp, who has been banging the atheistic drum.

because he has nothing better to do

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Off-topic: Small things that improve religion, #23

More woo infiltrates UK advertising

Two current ads from British telly that are worrying.
We like to think that regulations keep our advertising clean from bunk and woo. I believe that consumers should be left in no doubt about what they’re being sold.
This first ad at least has the honesty to be open about the organisation behind it. Brits in general have a healthy scepticism about religious messages, so hopefully the vast majority will ignore it.

But it can’t be right to sell a scientifically unproven concept such as God in a TV ad.
You can hold a Mars bar. You can see the AA man fix your car. You can get that cheque from the insurance company. But what proof do you get that you’ve received divine service? And yes, it could be argued that it’s the church they’re selling, not the deity, but what would be the point in signing up unless you believed in a divine being? It’s like selling the sizzle without there being a sausage.
Take a really close look at this second ad.


At first, I thought it was a peculiarly-skewed tourist promotion. I can see the message being enticing to almost anyone (although I’m gratified that my teenager, upon seeing it on Sky News, scoffed and judged it “weird”). But when you visit the website, there’s the feeling that this is some kind of humanist, all-inclusive, officially-endorsed peace-promoting charity.
Dig around, and it turns out the the way to happiness follows an unexpected path.
Dishonest, or what?