If Carlsberg did supermodels

Received via email

Bothered? Not a lot

A tip of the hat to magician Paul Daniels and his missus Debbie McGee for spoofing themselves and the Beckhams seemingly just for the hell of it. Are they promoting a TV show? Who cares?
Here they are again in one of a series of four Heineken ads that ran in 2001.

What goes through your mind when told "Let's go for a drink"

Enclicken to biggify

Received by email. Goldstar is an Israeli beer.

Don't bash the Bishop

Muchee likee these smutty Bishops Finger ads by JWT (via AdsOfTheWorld), which are cleverer than the country wench work previously pimping the brand (Here's my finger; Pull my finger). It's a nice play on the brand name even if it does conjure disturbing images of priapic clergymen.
The connection between beer and slobbering over women will no doubt garner the usual gaggle of numptyist complaints. As recent big media stories have shown, the great British public, emasculated by a shitty economy and a genetic inability to protest properly (unlike the French, who aren't afraid to burn the odd sheep to get their point across), enjoy nothing more than writing angry letters or leaving irate voicemail messages. Christ, we're a scary bunch when we're riled.

Beergasm

Extreme Expressions Of Joy Beyond All Reason, #5.
Spotted on Flickr

And speaking of God...

On sale in Waitrose.

via

Hair of the dog

Hopefully the last we'll ever hear from that wretched beast.

via

The day Eric Clapton shut his knob in a piano

See also: Golden shower

Teenie drinking - a solution

Boozed up teenagers hanging around street corners? In Japan, they tackle the kiddie drinking problem head on.

WTF? Guinness

From today's Metro.

One in the eye for another pesky God-like being

At last, a decent beer ad. It's reminiscent of the only decent part of any Star Trek film - the one where Kirk asks God why the hell he needs a space ship.
I thought beer ads were starting to disappear up their own arse what with that obtuse Stella monster boring the pants off everyone (although it does have a monkey in it, which is good), and Guinness jumping on the Cog bandwagon. That's society biting you on the bum, saying you can't make booze drinking look cool or youthful or trendy etc.
I guess the old wisdom about creativity finding new ways to express itself when its options are restricted have paid off for Carling. You see, it's not about the beer, but about standing by your mates. Alcopop brand WKD tried something similar but failed miserably because they were all about taking the piss out of your friends rather than supporting them.
And there's the rub: a funny, blokey ad that's really quite grown-up.

Agency: BMB

See also: Bounced out; International relations all ale and hearty - part 3

Guinness

It didn't help that I read Scamp's review of the new Guinness ad before I watched it. But no, I didn't like it either.
It seems that all the world's village idiots descended upon a South American shanty town to faff around with dominoes. This has nothing to do with good things coming to those who wait, but everything to do with wasting your time because life has no meaning.
Good things come... yes they do, to those who have earned it. That's the point of a well-earned pint.

Chimp does charity

Here's my good deed for the, er, year. Much of my charitable work includes working with distressed giraffes, but sometimes I like to stretch to something really worthy. Here's an admirable spoof beer PSA from a budding film maker. That she happens to be a babe is purely coincidental. Come on, give her points for having a go.

Best litter in the world

I'm peeved that I missed this - both the story and a chance to encounter this litter on the streets of London. Back in April the Independent reported how Saatchi & Saatchi scattered £1,500-worth of cash around the capital, each note with this cheeky Carlsberg sticker. I wonder if any pavements near pubs were picked?

Pic from Flickr

Beer goggles

Some wisdom received by email.

Heading north

I'm forsaking the glow of the plasma screens of the chimp media centre today to scout the streets of Edinburgh. Firstly, to sample that Scottish delicacy - the deep fried Mars bar and secondly, to foment rebellion in the hope that independence from England is declared. It'll make the monkey invasion a lot easier.
With no time to prepare anything profound, I'm simply regurgitating this cute Carlsberg ad made by DDB Denmark in 1999. It has a few ingredients that give it an interesting flavour: light conflict, embarrassing parents, beer, and a hint of naughtiness. Watch out for the furtive bollock fumble. Thank heavens for the Danes.

Golden shower

"Drinking American beer is like making love in a canoe... it's fucking close to water"
- Monty Python.

Apologies to my American friends. I'm sure you do brew some decent stuff, but why do you export this to us?

Never liked the stuff anyway

(Click to enlarge)

I'm out

I'm gonna eat 'till I'm sick, drink too much, waste loads of money and make a general nuisance of myself, all for baby Jesus. Yes, it really makes sense having a December birthday celebration for someone who was actually born in September.
I'll be back sometime in the New Year.
And have a Merry Christmas. I'm having none of this Happy Holidays bollocks.

Odd beer

This ad for Cobra beer, a favourite tipple in Britain's curry houses, is the subject of a Flickr query. It was spotted inside an underground carriage. The curious copy is explained here.