April 28, 2006

Snapping simian snapped

Aah, here's the naughty chap behind the rampage. Kudos to MonkeyWatch for finding this profile. Dave says Bruno looks remarkably turned out, proving that a strong alpha male isn't short of admiring girlfriends ready to groom him.

How to waste time finding a mate

Scientists have revealed six steps to follow for men or women to land the perfect partner, by making themselves more attractive to the opposite sex. I remain baffled at the effort invested by humans - for top bananas like me a well-thrown piece of fruit (or if she's a stunner, a small lump of poo) works every time. When one of my women shows herself like this strumpet, pictured, then she's only after one thing.

April 27, 2006

An experiment that should have gone wrong

Words cannot express my dislike of this little film. If Dave were not stronger than me, then I'd rip his arms off, which of course is the reason why I now live in a glass box. Apparently Michael Jackson has rubber arms since trying it on with a now-adult Bubbles.

April 26, 2006

Male aggression over super-masculine rivals

Remember this incident?

British Deputy Prime Minister "Two Jags" John Prescott twats a mullet wearing rival.
Mullet stumbles; Alpha Male 2J goes for an ear box.
The males go down, entwined in their primeval struggle.

Well they do say a leopard never changes its spots. At least we can now say old Two Jags is true to form now we know that men become jealous of other dominant-looking males when their partners are at their most fertile.

Not that anyone is drawing conclusions about Mrs P's physical condition at the time, but maybe she wasn't rutting, and the secret mistress was. She did, after all, have a fiance (was he a mullet wearer?).

April 25, 2006

Sure deodorant TV ad

Here's a cracking TV ad, currently airing on British TV. This is the first time that an ad has featured a chimp with a finger up its arse.