January 26, 2007

Monkey invasion phase two: chimp robots

There’s a firm in the USA, probably in California, that manufactures realistic sex dolls. They are so convincing that if a man owned one of these in the UK, he would be two years into his life sentence before the police realised that he wasn’t shagging a corpse.
The inevitable next step is to make these frightening bodies move and emit noises (other than squelching). So when logo meister Bill Green sent me this link I thought Ho Ho, I can see where this technology is going.
It would be fun to have a talking robotic chimp’s head scaring small children, cats and junior account executives, but after a while the novelty, from my point of view, would wear off.
I am convinced that this fake chimp is going to evolve into a dizzy blonde bimbo who will offer and provide blow jobs (funnily enough, my five year old daughter has an inert Barbie make-up head which is put to more innocent use, and doesn’t look half as sinister).
In fact, the fools who programmed the advertised toy obviously don’t realise that the screeches emitted from it are clearly Eastern Bonobo Chimp Dialect for "Hey Soldier Love You Long Time Ten Dollar".

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