Harveys' big offer

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Swinging on my tyre, I, in a moment of whimsy, wonder whether the reception area upstairs needs a new sofa. Harveys, doth declare the TV ad, hath commenceth a sale and being only of middling-pikeyness, might be worth a visit.
You wouldn't catch me in there, so maybe I'll send the driver. But, as the tyre languidly turns, I notice that each item comes with a free dog. Interesting sales technique, that. A bit like buying a car and being offered a wire brush to clean it.
Maybe I'll buy one for my chum Arnold, our blind family gynaecologist, who is having his office refurbished. He has a wet nose too.

Also disrespecting furniture:
My furniture takes another caning
Those worms didn't come out of my arse, madam
Down boy
Get off my bleedin' chair
Are you sitting comfortably?