Those worms didn't come out of my arse, madam

Oooh they tell me that this is a visual puzzle. Yes, it's a floral black & white designer sofa. What do you mean: "Can you spot anything?" Is that a joke?
Fuck me, I can't see anything unusual there. No, just the sofa. It's a kinda cool design. Clean, even. Matches the minimalist surroundings.
Let's say that there was a risk of this expensive piece of furniture being ruined. Well, it would be stupid of me if, for example, I had a large animal in the room wouldn't it? A creature that might want to take a dump, release worms from its mangy arse, or tread dirt into the cushions.
Yeah, I'd be a moron to do that.

See also:
Get off my bleedin' chair
Are you sitting comfortably?