New Year guff

Before I kick-start the year with the usual high-quality, ad-related stuff, I'm making public my New Year Resolutions.
In 2007, the Chimp Messiah shall:
1. Be more tolerant of people, except for religious maniacs.
2. Continue to avoid being sucked in by brain dead reality TV, except for Celebrity Big Brother.
3. Pick up the cat shit in my front garden before it decays and messes up my lawnmower.
4. Place the aforementioned feline defecation in a more strategic setting i.e. right on the neighbours' doorstep, because it is they who decided to increase their cat quota to double figures in 2006, the fucking pikeys.
5. Stop to smell the roses, which are complex hybrid vegetation that have evolved over milliennia, and are not the result of divine Intelligent Design.
6. Attempt to get other bloggers to refer to CMM News as The Worst Ad Blog In The World.
7. Delegate more.
8. Begin the God Is Great Diet aka the GIg Diet (I'll eat what I please - if anyone tells me I'm fat then I'll tell them they're wrong before killing them).
9. Cease referring to the prima donna captain of my son's football team as The Fat Fucker.
10. Ignore 1-9 if they are not in a client's interest.

And to put the Bagged and tagged post to rest, the lie was #4. I do happen to be extremely poor with numbers, but have never had to see a doctor about it.