Audi, the same old same new

Wee Karl, being 40 inches in height, couldn't give his 6-foot tall wife the standing-up shag she really liked. He overcame the problem by adding two springs to each foot and perfected what later became known as the Four Sprung Dwarf Technique.
Yes yes yes, very lame, but my mind has been turned to jelly after being bombarded with the unsurprisingly awful and predictable festive TV ads. First the foodie ads with snow, regurgitated and cryptic fragrances, too-stylish car spots and then the sales and the holidays.