Everyone bash the Brits

Someone in Philadelphia is up to mischief. This ad embedded on the website of organisation "International Coalition for British Reparations" attempts to add another nick to the bleeding hearts of those who expect Britain to cough up compensation for every perceived ill the country has inflicted on the world since...whenever (William the Conqueror? Elizabeth I? Victoria?).
I suspect that this campaign was put together by someone who failed geography at school because the list of Britain's victims includes the Scots and the Welsh who are - ahem - British. Yes, Philadelphian geography numpties, believe it or not, Britain is the collective name for Scotland, Wales and England.
And I'd like someone in Philadelphia to start the reparations ball rolling by finding someone to carry the can for using British troops for target practice.
Oh shit - I can see this turning into a rant already. Well, being baptised into the Greek Orthodox church I feel that if reparations are going to become a trend, then the Catholic Church should give me some cash for the stress caused by the Fourth Crusade, that the Turks should pay up for the sack of Constantinople and that Mount Olympus should be razed to the ground because Zeus once ravished a shepherdess whose DNA I carry.
There's a petition on this miserable site, and I've signed it. I feel abused by decades of mis-government by the likes of Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair, and I want to get my money back before some Frenchman from Agincourt gets his garlicky mitts on it or, even worse, Mel Gibson gets wind of the campaign.
Fuck it, I didn't want to pay for the Iraq war and my pension's screwed.
Anyone else feel like a victim?

Asda prank call

I don't know what's more annoying: the sniggering Aussie DJ and his over-excited posse, or the dreary, bored voices of Asda.

Click image to play

Another wretched CG’d car ad?

I have a jaded view of a particular type of car commercial. You know the sort: studio-style CG’d rendering that would kid you into thinking that you’re being sold a spaceship or a submarine. There’s usually an awe-inspiring soundtrack that suggests this car will make your cock grow another eight inches.
The storyboard to the latest BMW spot must have looked damnably familiar and uninspiring, but somehow from this tired formula a real jewel has emerged. There’s little awe, minimal testosterone, and a well-understated geekiness. The visuals are fast and the reworking of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony is curiously uplifting. Love it.

Agency: WCRS

I'm sure I've been here before

Spotted in Monkey Magazine.

Oh shit, not the Superbowl again

Ad twunts not living in the USA, like myself, have to avert our eyes from marketing events across the pond at this time of year. Yes, it's the fucking Superbowl with its fucking $90 billion per 5-second spot. Thank God the admirable Jetpack is rejecting the hype this year.
As a Brit, I appreciate the other big American celebration that is Independence Day. Yes, good king George handed over the lease in return for reruns of M*A*S*H and Friends in perpetuity, and the jolly Yanks could dress up as Red Indians and build Disneyland out of tea, or something like that.
But Superbowl is a cultural brick wall to me. I know that saying anything negative about the event to many Americans is like telling them that their mothers can't bake a decent pie and smell of weewee, but I simply don't get it. Not the sport, not the ads.
Is the Superbowl supposed to be a game or an ad festival?
Anyway, should I ever find myself locked in a hotel bedroom with just the Superbowl on the telly, I'd have to find something else to do to alleviate the boredom.

Attention, teachers in England!

Once you've moved to Scotland, the first thing you'll need to teach them is how to...

"Young man..."

Picnicked from (where else?) but here.

Look who likes Frosties

So, the Mozzer would never sell out, eh? Working class hero Morrissey sings the Frosties ad.

Yeah yeah I know. But the fantasy works for me.

See also: Let’s hound this evil mass-murdering satanist out of town

When to play fowl

Bill Green, in his current post about bigger logos that work, says “Most clients need something to comment on in a layout”, which reminds me of a certain practice that I know is occasionally used here. It’s called the Blue Duck Solution. I’m sure it has a more profound name at other agencies.
The idea is very simple.
When you know the work is absolutely perfect and the client just has to find something wrong with it, then hide an obvious anomaly that is only just hard enough to miss at first glance.
The client spots it. The art director and account director slap their own foreheads in a revelatory manner and congratulate the clever client. The anomaly is removed and the client is pleased.
Job done.
Here is a crude example I have just cobbled together.

(Click image to enlarge)

The Sun preaches

Noting The Sun's newly acquired credentials as a crusader against bigotry, I can't help but wonder why this Independent-style presentation from Tuesday's edition leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
A week after the race ruckus on Celebrity Big Brother, I wonder if The Sun is waving its new multi-coloured flag to distract attention away from the ugly bullying of the bullies. The three Brit girls who bullied the one Indian girl are intellectually incapable of defending themselves against the media onslaught, whereas their considerably more talented victim is destined to make a mint.
Besides, this Sun campaign is utter bollocks. Speaking as someone of mixed race, I'd accept this from another paper but not from the same rag that's been happily taking the piss out of the French and the Germans for decades.
Two weeks ago its sports pages featured a story about a Chinese snooker player. The headline was "Pot Noodle".

No darling, size really doesn't matter

Found on Flickr.

Update: the real horror behind BBC's Zardoz ident

Waaaay back in July '06 I noted the terror that BBC's digital TV ident had inflicted upon impressionable numpties. The vast, multi-headed visage loomed Zardoz-like over a Teletubbie landscape. Sensitive to the needs of the stupid, Auntie Beeb withdrew the ident.
But it was not forgotten. As this short clip reveals, the BBC head hid a darker secret...

(Clip from the BBC's time-travel current affairs series, Time Trumpet)