Slurp your way to a juicy antioxidised arse

Cards on table. I have no fucking idea what an antioxidant is. It’s one of those words that sits very close to the word “quack” in my bullshit thesaurus. I bet every one of you has a vague idea of what you think this word means, and that’s why you should be suspicious when any foodie or vitaminy ad starts throwing these fluffy terms at you.
I’m not going to totally pan this ad because this chick sure has a nice arse, and, even though the copy doesn’t explicitly say “drink this and you too will have a terrific pair of peachy buttocks”, it is what it wants you to think. Christ, it’s only a fucking fruit juice.
Next week: Pear juice will give you a big cock.