Seriously excellent eBay auction

I'm seriously shit scared that you people are gonna blow up the planet before the monkeys get a chance to take it over. I've just emerged from my kryptonite-lined bunker to find the world is still in one piece. I am cheered to find this most excellent auction on eBay, courtesy of those CERN propellerheads.

There's still time for you to kill the planet by the end of the year though. I'm talking to you Americans who are going to vote for that fucking insane Palin woman. A fucking rapture-ready book burner with her finger on the button? Are you fucking mad?