There's real gold, and there's chav gold

Somebody's getting rich in this recession, and they probably look like this guy, smiling happily as a certain class of person flogs off the family gold. I say "a certain type", because if the following extraordinary ad is anything to go by, the target market is the plasma poor. This is the British tribe that thinks having a wad of cash and talking posh makes you posh, but as any fule kno, they are betrayed by the gold-standard of lower class chavdom: having a telly that's bigger than their front room.
Just watch this ad and weep, cos you'll be needing to cash in your gold to pay for the new screen that you've just smashed in exasperation. Christ, are these actors on acid?

God's coppyrytar took a day off

via

Because The Sun would

via

D'you get milk with that?

Apparently not a spoof.
She could look a little happier, one would have thought.

via uTalkMarketing

In case of fire

Twittered via Swordfish

Death by juxtaposition

This really is awful - surely the worst example of automated web advertising to date. The story is already in most of the newspaper websites - a young woman fatally shot by Iranian police. I'm not going to link to LiveLeak because they should be ashamed of hosting the video in this way.

Tauntaun trick was a taunt

Remember how Wispa fans got Cadbury to relaunch the nostalgic chocolate bar? It seems like this behaviour now has an added dimension as some consumers demanded a product that doesn't actually exist.
A Star Wars-themed blanket was knocked up as a one-off for a joke, promoted as a spoof, and created enough credulous demand to make the jokers consider selling it for real. Total capitalist nerdgasm.

The man who put semen into basement

Humongous fuck-up by WH Smith who put Fritzl book on Father's Day promo.

You are hope, you are imagination

Yeah, and I know I'm a genius too, so why do I need these space cadets to tell me I'm special? It's a tweely sinister ad from that business masquerading as a religion, but with severe mafia tendencies: Scientology.

Strong stomach

For all those who have survived eating the shit they call food at Pizza Hut.

FACT! Fish!

"Today there are over 10,000 species of fish, which is far more diversity that all other land vertebrates. This diversity pattern can be explain by the notion that fish, being aquatic, survived the Great Flood, while many land vertebrates went extinct during this catastrophic event."

For more examples of stupidification, check out Fuckwitapedia

See also:
FACT! Surgeon!
FACT! Flood!
FACT! Evolution=Nazis!
FACT! Pianist!!
FACT! Throat!
FACT! Hedgehog!
FACT! Femininity!
FACT! Toronto!
FACT! Religious War!
FACT! Rocks!
FACT! Chuck Norris!
FACT! Fornication!
FACT! Pens!
FACT! Kangaroos!
FACT! The 19th Century!
FACT! Dinosaurs!

WTF? If you're too fat to wipe

Just don't scratch your back with this.

If Carlsberg did supermodels

Received via email

Wiggle room needed

Watch out for the following item appearing on eBay via Phil Spector's management.

It's not his wig that'll need purifying if he drops the soap.

Imaginary friend

Amusing reason for returned subscription mag.

If you don't vote, this is what happens

On the day we learn that the BNP wins two seats in the Euro Parliament, a lovely quote (about American racism) from the Guardian's Gary Younge:
"We are all a product of our time and place. Born in the midst of a random variety of narratives over which we have no control, most of us spend our lives trying to write the best story we can with the material we have been given."

Tweet #fathitler and speed this disillusioned chump up the disapproval rankings.

What I'm not reading this weekend

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Pow indeed

Saw this one in Metro and it made me laugh. Good work from AMV - simple and fun. Twinings is also my favourite brand of real tea - the only non-perfumed (e.g. Earl Grey) one that IMHO can be drunk black without that sickly tannin aftertaste.

In a pickle

Is this the real Barry Norman?

via Ben Goldacre

The vendor/client relationship

Just took 3 minutes off saving the world to chuckle at this. Have you ever been in a meeting with a client where you smile while thinking "f---ing twat"?