October 31, 2006

Canadian terror plot exposed

It's appropriate on Halloween to expose the myth behind a current story of terror.
Those pesky Canadians are claiming that Glasgow is an extremely dangerous place. It's obviously a ruse by the moose-shagging scamps to hobble Glasgow's (pop: 580,000) chances at landing the 2o14 Commonwealth Games (zzzz).
Glasgow's main rival in the bid is Halifax, Nova Scotia (pop: 22).
The furry-hatted secret task force from across the water were obviously quaking with terror at the paint-bombs going off at the Glasgow housing estate which was the venue for the current Sony Bravia ad.
The delicate souls are clearly behind the ASA complaints about the ad being too reminiscent of 9/11.
I'm therefore reluctant to attribute the complaints to the usual suspects (ad numpties) and point the finger of blame at Canada, where nothing much happens.
The perfect place for the Commonwealth Games, I'd say.

How to make a mint in movies, case study #133

Problem: What should we put on the poster to convince people that our new film is a quirky, gentle comedy about a Jewish kid?
Solution: Stick goggles and a snorkel on the goofy little fella.
That'll be £100K please.

Duck tales

There’s a mildly amusing collection of short viral films which feel like they’re seeking a reason to exist. A puppet duck banters with the punters in a bar, the most noteworthy of which is this one, because it features a blonde hottie talking about her panties.

Maybe these films are leading up to a brand revelation, in which case they’re being even subtler than Virgin Mobile’s peculiar Dog Judo films (which had no branding when they started).

Youtube films can be found here. There's also a Myspace profile.

Odd beer

This ad for Cobra beer, a favourite tipple in Britain's curry houses, is the subject of a Flickr query. It was spotted inside an underground carriage. The curious copy is explained here.

October 30, 2006

In case of cat attack

Unlikely but true: insurance ads can be funny. A couple of recent examples are Ameriquest and Bangkok Insurance, both recent winners at Cannes.
Here's a sweet example from Topdanmark which must be, er, Danish. Even without a translator on hand one can guess that the tagline must be something along the lines of "prepare for the unexpected." There is the slight chance it might mean "for emergency genital repair after cat attack." Actually, that would be pretty cool.


See also: Bike insurance ads must include spanking, obviously

Captain Ahab's Christmas list

I now know that the Audi A6 is unique because of its 9,621 patents (and that little organisation called NASA has only ever filed 6,509 of them - Audi told us so). I will therefore be putting this swanky looking motor at the top of next week's shopping list.
It's this shot, right at the end of the latest TV ad that sold it to me:
The image is a little hard to make out, but after the patent pant-wetting claim, the A6 is seen plunging into the ocean. My plan to take over the world, you see, will be made a lot easier when my monkey hordes are armed with submarine cars.
However, someone at Audi needs to get onto the phone to their lawyers, because it looks like one of their patents may have been nicked by someone with a unique Ford Ka conversion plan. Yes, if you're going to make a submarine car, then at least make it look like it can swim:
I've got to get me one of these.

Image from KillerKa
Audi's agency: BBH


Tags: Motor; TV ads

October 27, 2006

Research is hungry work

This qualitative research lark is knackering. Having been on the streets interviewing, and without having had a break all day, I asked the scantily clad monkeygirls if they had anything to share.
Nothing but my…










said one.

OK, I agreed, and in return you can have a nibble of my



No thanks, she replied, Quite frankly, I’m not in the mood; what I really need is a refreshing










Be careful, said the other scantily clad monkeygirl to me, last time you made a right mess after you refused a piece of

Is that a rocket in your pocket?

Breathlessly tagged as "the best ad ever", this historic piece of macho bad taste is perfectly pitched for the type of person who enjoys the thought of dispensing a small taste of all-American Armageddon upon the godless and angry people with beards.
Being a peace-loving sort, I'd rather stick to using harsh language.

Tags: Press / outdoor ads; Violence

October 26, 2006

This is not funny

It's very, very, very bad to laugh at this, especially in the light of the previous post, but...

Tags: Media; Violence

Does this offend you?

Here’s the BBC’s take on the latest assault upon advertising by frightened ad numpties. People complained because a naked woman sitting under a lemon tree, advertising shower gel, looked like she could be under 16.
The ASA upheld the complaints and the advertiser, Cussons, had to either withdraw or radically alter the ad.
Stories like this give me an irrational urge to do something violent, like rip up a paper bag. I daren’t do that because, well, the paper might be the wrong colour or something and I’ll be hauled up before some new fangled tribunal for being a paperist, racist or some other -ist.
Rome’s decline was said to have been preceded by a period of decadence and I can see that happening here, where every sodding half-wit numpty has the power to prevent something or other because of a perceived wrongness. Bad English that, I know, but that’s OK in these days of moral relativism where one man’s / woman’s / transsexual’s red line is another’s green light.
So… it’s now wrong for an adult woman to look like she’s younger? Sorry but, ahem, I thought that’s the line the world’s beauty industry has been selling to women for decades. Somehow I can’t imagine that the nation’s paedophiles are crumpled before their VCRs wanking to a fucking 10-second lemon shower gel ad. If that’s the fear, then we should banish every single image of kids wearing swimsuits in clothing catalogues.
As it happens, there is something I find offensive about the woman in the ad. She sounds drunk.


In the interests of research, I dispatched a brace of scantily clad monkeygirls to find a typical ad numpty, and ask his opinion:
“Whaaa….? Feck’n shower y’say? Feck off. Dwanner feck’n shower ye cheeky feck’n fecker. Tha’ girl needs feck’n fattnin’ up. Girls today’r tae feck’n skinny. Gimme ten pined ferra feck’n sandwich ye feck’n feck.”

Other news: Tesco removes kids’ pole dancing kit from supermarket shelves

Oops

This is one of the best Freudian slips I've heard in ages. It's from BBC Scotland, Tuesday. With war and pestilence let loose on the planet, Britain's media is obsessing over the McCartney / Mills divorce.

Spotted on b3ta

Here's my finger

This sloppily-reported story reveals that one of the rather innocuous Bishops Finger ads has been banned after a numpty complained about its appearance in Time Out Magazine. The ASA banned it after a solitary complaint (and the ad has been running for nearly five months).
I do however like this particular challenge by the ASA to the brewer, Shepherd Neame:

whether the headline text “I love a good session on the Bishops Finger” encouraged excessive drinking.
Which isn’t as I had interpreted it i.e.
whether the headline text “I love a good session on the Bishops Finger” encouraged excessive masturbation.
Here’s the offending item.

See also: Pull my finger

Agency: JWT