The evil clown man will mince you and dance, crab-like, over your dismembered body

Designed to be outstandingly dull and, by relentless repetition, to hammer the Calgon brand into your subsconscious, this ad has been well and truly noticed within the Chimp household. It has taken on the persona of a brain-sucking horror filmlet, something akin to the Ring stories.
Beware of Calgon Man, half way through applying his evil clown make-up, as he rebuilds his giant mincer. You never see the bottom part of Calgon Man’s body. Calgon Man stands on mutated crab legs. Calgon Man can see you through the telly. He will eat your kidneys.