When cool just don't cut it

I own a Motorola Razr, but then I'm cool anyway, and if the trendy mobile looked like a lump of clay then, well, I'd just damn well make it look good.
Here's Mr Beckham with one.
Holding the phone, he looks ok, and almost as sexy as me. But with the ear wotsit, he looks a twat. The moody mean look and messianic halo enhances the general twatness.
The only people who can just about get away with wearing one of these are London black taxi drivers (who don't care how bad they look, and are thus immune to this type of dorkness), call centre staff, and anyone working for Jack Bauer.

See also:
Your golden ticket to la dolce vita, chav-style;
Buying into the Beckham illusion;
Put your tongue in, Becks