May 24, 2007

Please employ brain

There’s no middle ground with recruitment agencies. As an employer who has used them several times I have found that they generally fall into two camps: the ones who bombard you with CVs, most of which bear little relevance to the job description; and those who you seldom hear from - but will send you one, or maximum two, absolutely spot-on CVs.
I strongly advocate the Chimp Messiah method of dealing with a mountain of CVs. This only works for stage #1 of the selection process.
Separate the CVs randomly into two roughly equal piles.
Shove pile #1 into the bin.
You wouldn’t want to hire anyone who’s unlucky, would you?
I have a strong suspicion that JPL Group is of the “CV-bombarding” variety of recruitment agency.
Why?
Thoroughly lazy copywriting that stinks of in-house work. What the shuddering fuck do summer fruit tarts have to do with their business? And no, they don’t recruit for the catering trade.

8 comments:

onewomanrunning said...

And the flipside of that as a temp is:
Agents phone (stalk) you with fantastic job offers which they want to put your CV forward for, but said jobs never materialise. And you never hear back from them til the next 'perfect' CV-whoring opportunity.

Or, they 'sell' you into a crap job, with crap pay "just to keep you earning while we find you something else" where you don't get proper breaks, people give you abuse, everyone bitches to you and your boss takes a liking to your arm and keeps stroking it, there's too much to do, and no-one knows what you're actual job function is so you end up doing it all - then, when you want to get out of it - the agency doesn't want to know...Which is where I am right now...

Or, they sell you your perfect job which quickly becomes the job from hell because the client didn't know what they wanted and you sit on your butt all day pondering what would happen if you just upped and smacked someone in the face and walked out.

Out of the past 6 positions I've had, only one has been the perfect fit for money, work, for them and for me. It's so frustrating and I'm stuck where I am now because I can't afford to not to work for even a day. Bank Holidays have no fun in them anymore - I'm down a day in pay.

Ta v. much FnC for explaining what happens to my CV though ;)

onewomanrunning said...

whoops, sorry for the rant. Supertemp is feeling moody and pissed off. Maybe I should start another blog...

onewomanrunning said...

Oh yes, and I see what you mean about the ad. V.v. tired, it's past my bedtime.

FishNChimps said...

eh? bedtime? where the hell are you?

onewomanrunning said...

At work, and I shouldn't be operating heavy machinery, too much TV watching last night. Keep waking up with face on keyboard.

Will said...

I've often suspected this is how grad recruitment works.. heh.

onewomanrunning said...

Re your Twitter thing about Campaign - can't afford to buy it, what did she say? What was the story?

FishNChimps said...

onewomanrunning, let me know your email address - I couldn't see it on your blog - and I'll send you the text.

FishNChimps@Yahoo.co.uk