Merry chavmass

From today's Metro: A pikey waster chav scumbag you don't know is hauled before the court and is sentenced to a curfew. He chooses your home address as his bail address. The court makes him move in to your home. There's fuck all you can do about it.
You'd really, really need a heart of stone not to laugh.
Icing on the cake? The tag line on the ad immediately below.
Which gives me an opportunity to recycle my favourite chav joke:
Q: What does a chav and a Slinky have in common?
A: It's always fun watching them both fall down the stairs.