September 10, 2007

Sharp cuts

One odious duty necessary to a trends guru such as myself is flicking through the magazines. Some of the lads' mags are a bit like The Sun newspaper - the number of minutes taken to read them is directly disproportionate (is that a word?) to your intelligence. The quicker you are at reading them, the cleverer you are. Don't be distracted by the boobage or the pictures of gaping wounds, and you'll survive the experience.
GQ is an exception. There's some good stuff in there. Even the ads are good(ish). Go to Nuts or Loaded and the ads are more puerile. GQ is heavier with more serious fashion stuff.
We know that media buyers are influenced by a magazine's editorial content, but do the ads effect the mood of the mag?
When I finished my first flick through October's GQ, I tried to remember the ads. There was a general haze in my mind of serious-looking pretty boys and barely recognisable A- and B-list celebs. There's an impression that the pretty boys are challenging someone off camera to a fight, but you know these fellas wouldn't survive a pint of Babycham, never mind a ruck.
So these are the ones that stood out, probably in a good way...
Excellent. GQ-meanness, but with a sword! I love to see swords, cos I'm a bit geekish and there's a Highlander vibe. Cracking film. Sword... Sharp suit... Geddit? There's probably a subliminal big cock reference here too. Bet this feller owns a D&G Motorola Razr phone. Mind you, sit there too long and you'll get a damp arse.

Fuck the togs and the unlikely pose for someone sitting down, but just take a look at young Josef Stalin here, absolutely pissed off that his train's late. When the revolution comes, watch out lawyers and train drivers.

Shit! I've been shot! A bit dark to make out the details, but you don't need a close-up. Just look at that sharp knee-forehead diagonal line. That's one mean cut.

The hat makes this bloke look a bit of a dick, but I still love this one. Her tits were this big, he's chuckling to himself. A departure to have a happy model in the men's fashion pages, as well as a distraction to draw the eye to his hands. To me this says: be happy, be dirty, be scruffy and you'll have something fun to hold very soon.

Lesson: Don't be mean. Be different. Tell a story.

See also:
You're making me wet, grandma
Fashion labels
How to get beaten up in London
Sunglasses: best of three


Toad said...

I don't think we're actually meant to understand fashion advertising.

FishNChimps said...

I think you're right. Unless drugs are taken, in which case it all makes perfect sense.