December 18, 2006

Meet. Drink wine. Shag.

Look at the body language.
The distance between the pair suggests that they kind of know each other, or at very least have only recently met.
Her head is tilted, she is leaning slightly forwards, her left hand flat on the cushion. Her legs are pointing towards him. She is looking into his eyes, challenging him to look at her boobage.
His knee casually points towards her, his stance open. A furtive glance at her rack isn't going to satisfy him.
He's in charge - this is his pad (note the minimalist alpha male decor) and he has drunk a little less wine than his prey.They support their heads in a way that could easily suggest boredom, but there is no uncomfortable moment. Not now. Not here. The small talk is over.
If there was any doubt that this pair are about to launch themselves at each other, then check out this image from the advertiser's homepage:

OK, so what the fuck does this have to do with selling wine?
Note the copy.

"Les vins de Bordeaux. Some offer you just a drink. Others offer you a chateau"

Eh? As meaningless sentences go, that takes some beating. But it doesn't matter, because with the words Bordeaux, Chateau, combined with the image of pre-copulating strangers in a posh pad, the idea is sold.
What other alcoholic drink - no... what other country's wines - would even dare to connect drinking with sex in this manner, even covertly? If this ad were flogging wines from the New World or any other European country, the effect would be as cheesy as the canapes served at a librarian's party.
But Bordeaux is as French as white flags, onions and seduction, the randy fuckers, so they can get away with this.
Sometimes I wish I was French.


In the interests of research, I dispatched a brace of scantily clad monkeygirls to find a typical ad numpty, and ask her opinion:
“Oo-er, he looks a very frisky young man. In my day... I once knew a Spanish waiter who looked like him - used to shove a bread roll down his trousers but WHAT is SHE wearing? A skirt like that in this weather and she'll catch a cold. Did you know you can get all sorts of diseases by wearing a skirt like that if you sit too near a lake? Especially if you're French. Those glasses are far too big. I will complain. Is she wearing a bra?"

7 comments:

onewomanrunning said...

Boobage.

FishNChimps said...

A word I frequently use. From time to time, it even crops up in my ZoomCloud.

greencan said...

I really wish someone would offer me a chateau.

Jetpacks said...

"as cheesy as the canapes served at a librarian's party."

It must be an English thing - but it's great, whatever it means.

mediawasp said...

Hello my name is Kelly and I work in Customer Services at MegaCorp. I really like drinking wine, it makes me feel classy and posh. My favrit film is Brigit Jones, it's just like my life LOL!!!! I saw this advirt on the tube about this French wine and i want to try it. I wish I had a ritch boyfreind who would buy me stuff to show me he carez about me. Me and my freindz luv dancing and meeting new blokes!!!! Wot does Chateau mean???

FishNChimps said...

Hey pikey girl, dontcha know Chateau is French fer water wiv poo in it, innit?

Make the logo bigger said...

fish - don't you know they are both confident enough in their relationship to be apart, whether it’s three feet or three thousand miles. That’s love, mister. Love.