I have a white coat and have spent the last 15 minutes designing a certificate on Powerpoint. I am now a scientist so, yeah, fuck you Richard Dawkins. And, guess what? Just before I entered Giraffe Towers this morning, I happened to notice a red car with the first three registration letters RYX. Afterwards, I thought: what were the odds of me seeing a red car with the registration letters RYX at precisely 8:20 this morning? Fucking astronomic, that’s what. This proves I am psychic.
And now, to complete my day of awesome, I have seen proof that there is a god, and here it is.
Dear chimp worshippers: because a giraffe’s head doesn’t explode, there must be a god.
(Curious to see how long this video stays up until it dies of embarrassment…)