An explanation for my huge international readership: David Cameron will most probably be our next Prime Minister. Think an even posher Tony Blair, but without the training.
"Who framed Roger Rabbit?"
"Who would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger?"
"In a hypothetical situation, if Gordon Brown was to average 90mph airborne when hit by a Morris Ital starting at junction 22 of the M6, and Nick Clegg was hit at 88mph from J2 of the M6 by a Austin Montego, at which junction of the M6 would:
a.) They meet, and --
b.) A chockie biscuit rise high over the Cadbury's factory?"
"Does he think there'll ever be a boy born that can swim as fast as a shark?"
"Could he deck a horse with one punch?"
"What does swan taste like?"
"What is the biggest leaf?"
Heard on the only funny bit of the Now Show